You Get a Lot More Respect for the Homeless

When you become one of them.

So remember that picture a few months back of the apartment with no running water, bare concrete walls and power tools and mattresses strewn all over it? Well I got evicted for not paying rent while doing 8 hours of construction work every day and sinking more money than I would have paid for rent on construction materials into that hell hole.

On top of that my computer was destroyed by angry neighbors, my bike was torn apart in three separate attempts to steal it and I've moved about three times in the last month and a half.

So the next time some guy asks you for a buck on the street don't be so fucking rude to him. It sucks being homeless.

Anyway I'll have some photos and stories and whatnot in a bit when I've got a computer again.

I am living on the coast of the sea of marmara. Drinking tea and eating mussels every day.

We saw peacekeeping forces traveling up the bosphorus today.

Danced on two rooftop clubs to an assortment of turkish covers of american songs last friday and saturday.


I commute too and from europe from asia daily.

I get people from Iran taking photos of me as if I was a tourist attraction.


I've helped teach gypsy children english. I hope they never offend anyone with it.

I've also taught them the explode-a-five.

I now have internet and I will update more often. Where are you john?

tons of photos to come, but I do not have the time or resources for that kind of endeavor at the moment

some thoughts:


The Netherlands are the future, and it's amazing

Dick Cheney is the first truly "vice" president

It takes a lot of kroner to equal a dollar, but according to our "hotdog exchange rate" it still costs 5 bucks for a hotdog in Copenhagen.

Biker road rage hurts.

Bike lanes are eerily more comfortable for walking than sidewalks.

If you complain about taxes ruining our economy, a 200% income tax hasn't hurt denmark, just it's visitors.

the Wanted drinking game:

Drink anytime something physically impossible happens
=you will be drunk
Drink anytime something physically improbable happens
=you will black out
Add drinking anytime James McAvoy explains what is happening through pointless dialogue
=
YOU WILL BE DEAD

thank you for your time
major picture post probably when I get to istanbul
AKA Aug 8-15

New York

here's some more photos, i'll get on the drinking game rules and actually writing stuff once my house had been constructed past third world status, there's a picture of it in there.

Drinking Games

Note: Okay, so john, I'm going to need you to add some to this, because I was asleep for most of the movies, and do not know the rules that were used.

These are drinking games we used for movies last week, following our nightly half hour Tran-a thon, which is much less controversial than it sounds.

These drinking games were modeled after famous movie games, like the one for The Big Lebowski:

Drink whenever someone says;

dude, sh*t, man, or shut the f*ck up donny 

Also drink whenever someone refers to;

the rug , vietnam, or nihilists

So, the movies.

Rules:

Drink when ;

someone dies in an unnecessary way ,

(ie arm restraint through temple)

someone kicks ahnold in the balls,

a crazy special effect or new technology is introduced

Waterfall when;

Someone's face is exploding on the surface of mars, 

until they die or oxygen stabilizes the atmosphere

Finish your drink when;

Ahnold says "See you at deh pahty Richtah!"

Rules:

Drink when;

any character says something they as a politician might have said on the campaign trail,

a gratuitous explosion happens that isn't physically possible,

Jessie Ventura resembles a character from Team Fortress 2 (basically all the time),

a commando dies.

Finish your drink when;

predator self destructs

Rules:

Drink whenever;

a new alien species is introduced,

you decide ruby rhod is being a tad too ridiculous (rarely),

Mongalores are being Mongoloids (always)

Finish your drink;

 when Korben Dallas says;

"negative. I am a meat popsicle"

"who else wants to negotiate"

or Ruby Rhod says;

"that's the best show I've ever done"

Rules:

Drink whenever you like, just enjoy the genius.

We tried really hard to find rules, 

but it isn't funny in a this happens this many times,

this person does this all the time

except for the general and bubble gum,

Dr. Strangelove and his arm,

and the president and calling Dmitri.

So if you so choose you may drink to these

Rules:

Drink whenever Kurt Russell is being Kurt Russell

I'm sorry, this movie made less sense to me than Ski School

so john can finish up the rules for this or

and

Hickima

it has been milked dry of humor and i will not mention it again, unless certain predetermined conditions are met. new jersey is a horrible horrible place when you are trying to find a hotel at 1 am in the poconos during graduation party weekend.

Less talk more pictures

Jake likes his words, I'm more about not writing.

So basically I'm going to be going from beautiful scenic wannabe ghetto


to maybe actually legit ghetto

there's a rough plan of things to do and see but for the most part I'm going to be playing it by ear and just trying to document some cool shit you just don't get in cincinnati.

Mark it!

Today is the first day in our beautiful journey from living in Cincinnati to anywhere but da 'nati.  Don't get me wrong, there are some great things about this city, but so much that discourages you and reminds you how little people know about how to encourage smart development of cities.  But I digress.

This journey will be a fairly regular feature, but not the sole purpose of this little distraction.

It starts today with my moving all my large pieces of furniture to my new place.  Which you would think would be the end of it, short story:

Guy moves out of Cincinnati. The rest is just him ranting about what is wrong with Cincinnati.

But.  That ranting is only a slight distraction.  

And. I'm not moving out of Cincinnati yet.

The plot thickens.

We are moving out, but tethered to this city by DAAP.  The college of Design Architecture Art and Planning at the University of Cincinnati.  It has our number, our money, and our begrudging love.  Until we are done here, we will never have truly left Cincinnati, and even then the coney's will be with us.

John and I are escaping the clutches this summer and next winter.  And we will be showing you what we are interested in obsessed with and possibly disgusted with.  For much of this time we will be on opposite sides of the Atlantische as the Dutch call it.  

There will be blurbs rants about burbs and giant killer robots, so beware.